Sri Aurobindo’s Mahasamadhi

On the 4th evening I went to the Mother in Her play-ground room. I told Her that I had to leave for Delhi in the morning and explained that certain important matters remained undecided which needed Her instructions and guidance. The Mother said, “Yes, I know. I have a note for all these matters with me. I will discuss with Sri Aurobindo tonight and will positively write to you at Delhi tomorrow. In the meantime you can certainly go to Delhi according to your programme.”

Railway tickets had already been purchased, seats booked, rickshaws arranged to come to our residence by 5 o’clock in the morning as we had to catch the train at 7 a.m. A full basket of food was prepared in the night to be sufficient for the whole journey up to Delhi.

We got up quite early in the morning — perhaps before 4 o’clock — and loaded all our beddings and luggage etc. in the rickshaws. Just when we were going to sit in the rickshaws, my eldest daughter Sneh Lata arrived at the scene and said in a morose and choked voice, “Pitaji, Sri Aurobindo is no more.” I did not follow as I was busy shouting to get the luggage properly loaded in the rickshaws. My daughter repeated in a suffocated voice, “Pitaji, Sri Aurobindo is no more.” Nothing got into my head. Then she came very close to me and spoke in Punjabi, “Pitaji, Sri Aurobindo is dead.” It was the most shocking and unexpected news.

It took away breath and life from my body. I started pulling out the luggage from the rickshaws and threw it back in the house.

It took me about two hours to reconcile myself to go to the Ashram presuming that everyone must be weeping and crying. To my surprise there was dead silence. When I turned my back I saw some people standing around the Notice Board. I also went there and read, “To weep, cry or grieve for Sri Aurobindo is to insult him.” — The Mother. I could not agree to this feeling — how was it possible?

All sorts of dark ideas and dark clouds were hovering over my head. I was thinking and imagining, “Ashram is finished. Very soon when the sun rises all the people will start packing, to leave and run away from the Ashram. All Ashram property of every nature will be destroyed and looted away.” Under all such sombre, gloomy and evil thoughts I was moving from street to street and corner to corner in desperation like a mad dog. But I could not find anything except gloom and desolation in the atmosphere.

After an hour or so I saw some people going in the same direction with bags and tiffin-carriers in their hands. I asked, as to where they were going. They said in grieved tones, “To the Dining Hall.” I was shocked to hear this. How can the Dining Hall of the Ashram be working and open today when the Guru of the Ashram has passed away.

In another half an hour or so I learnt that all the departments of the Ashram were also working under the instructions of the Mother. My being could not accept all this.

Very soon I learnt that the Mother had decided to keep Sri Aurobindo’s room open to the public for His darshan, in Maha- samadhi. Unending queues started. People from different parts of the country, near and far, started coming. The room was of course closed from sunset to sunrise. However after every two or three hours the room was kept closed for a few minutes to give time to the Mother to clean Sri Aurobindo’s face and comb His hair. In the meantime people started coming from far off countries of the world. And the queue became thicker and quicker. Everyone was allowed to go in the queue without any restriction. But one’s turn could hardly come once in a day.

Next day I found that Sri Aurobindo’s body lying in state was fully covered in a glass case. The reason was that invisible dust was constantly coming in the room on account of the thousands of people coming the whole day. This continued for four days. Sri Aurobindo’s face was still radiating and shining and it looked as if He was in Samadhi.

I was told that there were objections from the French Government that the body could not be kept beyond a certain time. The Mother expressed that the body will remain in state until She noticed signs of decomposition. It was even rumoured that “who could say that Sri Aurobindo may come back to life again!”

A peculiar incident occurred. Shri Haribhau Upadhyay, then Minister in Government of Rajasthan, by chance arrived on the 6th December and stayed at Dr. Indra Sen’s place. I went there because usually we used to go together. There was no talk of any nature and Shri Haribhau Upadhyay just accompanied us. It took us some hours to go in the queue for Sri Aurobindo’s darshan and come back. In the evening when Upadhyayji was to leave, he expressed his happiness to have had Sri Aurobindo’s darshan just by chance. There was such a calm that he could never know that he had Sri Aurobindo’s darshan in Mahasamadhi until he was told and explained. Coming to know this, he cancelled his programme and stayed on.

On the 9th morning the Mother instructed that in the middle of the courtyard under the Service Tree the place should be prepared for putting Sri Aurobindo’s body in Samadhi. The young boys of the Ashram started the digging operation with full capacity. My son Narendra was dynamically involved. Unfortunately he died a few years later in the prime of his youth when he was twenty-seven.

Perhaps the ground dug was about eight to ten feet deep. All the processes of concreting etc. were completed according to the in structions of the Mother.

That unhappy scene is still before my eyes when in complete silence the box containing the body of Sri Aurobindo was brought down on the shoulders of some sadhaks. Shri A.B. Purani was in the front and he was the only person who could not contain himself and was continuously crying in the deep silence of the atmosphere.

Four of the highest officials of the French Government in Pondicherry, and the Indian Charge d’Affaires, Shri R.K. Tandan, were present to pay homage to the material envelop of the Master, and I was the only person standing among them in my dhoti and shirt. The whole divine drama of lowering and enshrining the body in the Samadhi was over in about two hours’ time.

Everyday again and again I would come and stand before the Samadhi to specially look at the Mother, a most touching sight. She would constantly look at the Samadhi from behind the curtains of Her room standing vigil for hours at a stretch everyday, for thirteen days. She had given up all sorts of adornments — like a crown on Her head etc. After that She never wore or put anything on Her head.

More than my own personal shock of loss and misery, and being constantly in desperation I felt a severe torture, agony and pathos towards The Mother. I felt that our loss was most insignificant as compared to that of Hers. In such a state of mind I could not decide to go to Delhi without seeing or talking to Her.

Three months passed thus. On getting the opportunity to see the Mother I cried profusely before Her and I was most angry and in a desperate condition. In extreme anguish I told Her bluntly, “I have completely lost faith in you. You Avatars can be so cruel! We came to you burning our boats, bringing here all the children born and unborn. (Promesse and Victor were born after we joined the Ashram). Sri Aurobindo has gone. Tomorrow or any time you could also say that you are going. Who will look after us! With whom shall we live?”

The Mother went into a long trance. Then She opened Her eyes and said, “I will try to live with you.” But ultimately She also left us.

I am not a fanatic, but accept that these Divine souls bring their destiny from the ultimate source. Their luminous power is millions and billions of times more than that of the ordinary human beings. But there is nothing higher yet which may have descended so far, to be seen, to be believed and accepted.

The remains of the entire creation are put to valuable uses in many ways. The vegetable kingdom provides food, clothing and shelter to the human race for its existence and herbs for health; animals, birds and living creatures of ocean, rivers and streams provide food for the hungry. Creatures of ocean produce shells, conch-shells and precious pearls. All types of leather and skins of animals and reptiles are used for making articles like foot-wear, bags, brief-cases, suitcases and drums of various types. Skins of several animals like lions, tigers and deer are used for decoration in palaces and in temples as seat for puja, meditation and tapasya. There is no limit to their uses and utilities. Perhaps man is the only being whose remains are of no use or utility and are consecrated to fire.

But the mortal remains of the Avatars, saintly beings and higher souls are enshrined in samadhis which always remain a source of inspiration to millions, for thousands of years. The samadhi of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother has thus become worthy of worship for all times to come.