Chachaji

My withdrawal from politics was a slow process. My first visit to Sri Aurobindo Ashram was in December, 1939. In 1940, I went on the Mother’s Birthday.

After the 1942 movement, I regularly went to Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, four times a year on every Darshan day and the pull of the Ashram was irresistible. In the last month of 1942, I took my wife and children to the Ashram and left them there. Since then, they have been there. Out of my nine children, eight stayed in the Ashram. My eldest son, Anil, was with me in Delhi. I remained an ordinary member of the Congress. Of course, I did not take active part in politics or power politics. I became more and more devoted to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. So, political activities ceased to interest me any longer. I never reconciled myself to the situation of Congressmen craving for power instead of serving the country from outside the government.

Ramnagar Assembly Elections

Many people in the city met and persuaded me to contest the elections for Ramnagar Constituency, New Delhi, even though I was not keen on it. Their main point was that the freedom fighter with a record of sacrifice and service should come forward to contest the Assembly seat as against the self-seekers and power-mongers. I requested the Mother to guide me in this crucial test. She replied: “If you can show something different than others, you can try.” I felt that She wanted to give me this experience.

Certainly, I had better chances than the other candidate who contested against me as a Congress candidate. I had been an active Congressman since my arrival in Delhi in 1920, participated in all the movements for national struggle, but I had never seen my opponent in the Congress party. He got the Congress party ticket on other considerations. I had the background of sacrifice and selfless service. Probably on account of my over-confidence and faith that people would vote for me because of my active participation in the various movements of freedom struggle, while my opponent resorted to various malpractices with money, muscle-power etc., I lost the elections by 200 or 250 votes’ margin. This experience opened my eyes to the realities of present politics, and I was not prepared to stoop to such levels for winning an election and seeking power at any cost. Naturally, that was a strong point which never allowed me to indulge in power politics.

Gandhiji’s Assassination

I was fond of Gandhiji’s prayer meetings and used to attend them regularly. I was residing at No. 1, Albuquerque Road and the Birla House is at No. 5, Albuquerque Road. There was only one bungalow in between our two houses. It was hardly a minute’s walk from my residence.

Probably, I was one of the first persons who reached the Birla House where Mahatma Gandhi was shot dead on 31st January, 1948. His body was taken and placed in the hall of Birla House. I was sitting by the side of Gandhiji’s body and on the other side Devdas Gandhi was sitting. My hands felt the warmth of the body, when I placed them to pay my respects to the departed leader.

In the meantime, hundreds and thousands of people came there to have the last darshan of their beloved and trusted leader. They were sad, sorrowful, and weeping. The whole nation was plunged into sorrow. Everyone, whether he agreed with Gandhiji or not, felt grief-stricken on his assassination.

But Muslims, especially Maulanas of Delhi, came beating their heads and crying that they lost everything. What had Allah done! I do not remember their names now. I know everyone of them because they were directly or indirectly connected with the Congress movement.

An Intense Fire in Me

It is very difficult for me to give the reasons for my quitting the Congress. I was not in the Congress Party for any selfish motive. It was only for the liberation of the Motherland, which I loved most, that I had jumped into the freedom struggle. In my life, from a very young age, I was always drawn into the fire of tapasya due to the intense fire in me. When I was in DAV School and DAV College, the Arya Samaj was the arena of my action. When I came to Delhi, I was sincerely working in Arya Samaj and Arya Kumar Sabha.

When Congress movement took clear shape, I jumped into it because I thought that Gandhiji’s way of life and message will electrify the Indian people and enable them to fight for freedom. This was the compelling reason.

I found that the fire of yogic life was much more powerful and lasting than the ordinary politics. So, I jumped into that, dedicating my life, my wife and children in the service of Sri Aurobindo Ashram. I gave all that I had possessed.

It is not ego. It is the intense fire to do my bit for a noble cause. I jumped into the fire because that has been a part of my life pattern and probably my destiny. If I find any higher life, I would like to go into it with all my devotion. But with all the experience of my life, I do not think that there can be anything higher than the Ashram life where you have to surrender yourself completely in all respects and in all forms. To surrender completely is not an easy thing. It may take many janmas (lives). I have been working wholeheartedly for the mission which was given to me by Destiny or the Divine.